Thursday, November 10, 2011

Mommy needs a minute and maybe a box of brownies...

Hey there it's me SDM. Wanna chat? Good because while I've not been blogging I have been having a moment. I can't point to one particular event that has caused me to not be on but...oh, 100's of tiny little events that are now the size of a mushroom cloud!

So, just today let me tell you the kids came home early, half day of school and all that fun stuff. It's always so exciting to me to have my children get a half day of school. It's like the school is punishing me, they just sit back and laugh at all the parents out there. You know they are! I put the kids on the bus at 8:40 they get home at 12. What the hell is the point of that? They don't start until 9 really and dismissal is at 11:45. Really...really...two and a half hours of school? It's just enough time for me to get doing something and have to stop to run back to the damn bus stop! Listen, keep my kids or don't but cut the half day crap, it's just irritating! I'm not angry I just think it's funny that you bring 400 kids to school just to turn around and put 400 kids back on the bus and send them home again. What did you really accomplish there?

Anyway, I do nothing this morning because hey what's the point right? I know you're laughing because I am laughing at my totally plausible excuse for when Mr. SDM gets home to find the house a disaster and me still in my jammies! So, while I am doing nothing, OMG is having her very own food festival. Oh, by the way I am actually doing things, in case you were concerned I had gone back to bed on my toddler. So, food festival, yeah, OMG has learned to open the fridge by herself recently and can now reach anything and everything that looks remotely like food. What, you ask might be in my fridge that's not food? Well, let's just say I haven't done a lot of grocery shopping since that last encounter, where I all but promised the store I wouldn't come back, so some things might actually be food but we awaiting the results of testing. Also, there are condiments (ketchup, mustard...get your mind out of the gutter folks), milk, soda and beer. Yup, there's beer in my house! Anyway, OMG loves to pick out the jelly for some reason. She gets out the squirtable jelly and while I am calmly making the bed, decided to squirt it all over the table and then play in it. I don't know this at first, so upstairs she comes, COVERED in red jelly, and of course I am like OMG OMG what happened, I thought she was bleeding. Yeah, I totally did! I run to look her over and realize oh, yeah it's freakin jelly, I can hardly wait for what downstairs must look like. So off I go and yup, there's the table completely covered in red jelly, oh but wait...there's your face off (the dog) is licking the table clean. THIS IS SO GROSS!

That was one thing, but that's not all that happened around here. Oh no. I just want to know am I ever going to have peace and freakin quiet again? Just saying, because holy cow if I hear MOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM again at 300 decibels I might lose it! First of all I have to say I love my little MH more than life, but that child just does not stop EVER. And, it's not so much that she talks, it's that she asks constant questions, just constant, ear splitting, no good answer for a 6 year old questions. Let me help you understand...

"Mom, where do babies come from..."
"Mommies tummies"
"No but like before before they get in the tummies, how do they get in there?"


"Mom can I have a friend over"
"Not today MH I don't feel good (insert any reason here, I generally have a good reason I ALWAYS allow my children to have friends over)"
2 minutes later...
"Mom can I have a friend over"
REPEAT 20 times.


"Mom MM touched me (insert anything, truly ANYTHING here, looked at, touched, smiled at, breathed on)" and then insert a scream and a never ending cry.

So, you get me when I say this is like never ending. Well, now she's reading and my goodness I just love her for it but good Lord could she just not have to read every book in the house all day long? I mean I know I am about the worst mom in the world right now for saying that. BUT mommy needs some downtime sweetie! Plus hearing Pinkalicious for the 250th time I am pretty good with not doing that! I got it, good moral, get what you get and don't get upset. Yup, we're good! Thanks. BEDTIME!

Oh boy, so my little loves have been driving me a little nuts but it's just part of the reason I love them! So one day when MH's little girl reads her a story for the 400th time I can laugh and say yup I have been there honey!

Off to find my brownies (don't judge me :))

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