Friday, September 30, 2011

Why Dora and Max and Ruby sometimes babysit.

Hey everyone,

So, I don't know how many others of you out there are honest enough to say sometimes Nick Jr. or Disney or some other cartoon nonsense babysit my child or children but let me be the first to raise my hand. Yup, Dora and Max and Ruby have come in handy a time or two or let's be honest here 12. Does that make me a bad mama? I don't think so.

Here's the scenario, I need a shower (badly I might add, because it's now 3pm and MM and MH get off the bus in 30 minutes and I can't show up at the bus stop wearing the same PJ's I had this morning, well I could but I risk being talked about). So, it's 3pm and I need a shower, here are my choices, a. don't shower and show up at said bus stop in aforementioned jammies, with hair greasier than a frying pan with 2 day old bacon grease hanging out in it, b. take OMG into the shower with me and prepare for the drama that will cause, namely soap all over the place, a VERY slippery 2 year old who screams when she gets her hair washed and tries to eat my shaving cream which leaves my leg hair looking like a cross between a gorilla and my dog or c. throw on some Max and Ruby and pop off a quick and painless 10 minute shower. Yeah, I went with c. chalk up 10 minutes of TV time for my 2 year old. Uh-oh the experts won't like that!

Shoot, I am totally out of clean socks for MM and MH oh and Mr. SDM! Laundry time...that's just spectacular, laundry is one of my favorite activities. So, on goes Dora and off I go to the basement for some quality time with the washing machine. Then it's back upstairs to fold and put away the piles of laundry...15 more minutes... Oh who am I kidding she watched all 22 minutes of that episode. Now we are up to 32 minutes of TV time and it's only half way through the day! I am going straight to parenting hell. Worst mom ever!

Ok, well now I get to make dinner and everyone is home. MM needs homework help, MH needs to just yell at me, apparently I have not met her needs for the day (welcome to my world sweetie), and OMG has not napped (yet again!). It is like a darn circus show around here what is a mama to do? I'll tell you a little secret...lean in close for this one...I put on Peppa Pig. Yup, that's what I did folks. I put on the EVIL TV. 22 more minutes of a TV show, but everyone is calmed down and dinner is started and homework is done. We are up to 54 minutes of TV time but I am a calm mama and the kids are no longer screaming...I am totally ok with this! Experts be damned!

Bedtime, and guess what all the kids want the TV on again. I know what you're saying, surely after 54 minutes she will not let them watch TV again today. BZZZZZZ, wrong! After MM and MH have story time they are totally allowed to watch TV one more time. As for OMG she also gets one more TV show, her favorite! All while Mr. SDM and I read and put MM and MH to bed. Then while OMG falls asleep I watch TV, it's finally my turn to catch up on something other than what's going on with Dora, although yay for her, twin babies in her family, she grew up apparently and even got to see Shakira.

Yeah, we are a TV household. Yes, I sometimes I am about to throw it out the damn window. I can't stand another teeny bopper show about nothing. I get to be so over it. But, there are days where the TV is my best friend. I want to hug it while I fall asleep and say "thank you TV, you did some of your best work today." Those days, the experts who probably have never had three screaming children, running in circles around their legs asking for just 2 more cookies before dinner, can kiss my heiney. I will proudly turn the TV on and let the kids zone out for 22 minutes while I grasp for a sense of peace and quiet or a chance to cook them some frozen chicken nuggets for dinner (Martha Stewart I am not!). Just kidding I am way more likely to buy MacDonald's!

Have a sweet night,

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