So, I've been gone for a while now. Not that I have too many followers (hint, hint)! I was having some computer issues but they are all fixed now and my life hasn't been too funny lately, that was until I decided to take a trip to the grocery store...
Ah the grocery store...a place where noise and smells assault your senses. What you don't normally expect is my child to literally assault you while you shop. My little OMG she's such a cutie.
We started this little excursion with a promise, from me that if my children behaved through the whole shopping trip I would take them to the toy store to spend money they already had. Ok, strike one for the SDM! Who does that? What was I thinking? I was thinking that my children are quite possibly the most entertaining yet most misbehaved children to ever walk the aisles at said store and that I would sell my left arm if they would just behave for 5.3 seconds. So, I made the ill fated promise of the toy store. In we go...
Oh CRAP!
We make it to produce, the VERY first section, but barely, you see my little MH (mini-hubby) likes to day dream in the grocery store and while she does this she dances around my cart. She pays absolutely no attention whatsoever to ANYTHING or ANYONE who may be anywhere within 10 feet of her. We have near collisions with a beeping motorized cart, a table full of tomatoes and a very unhappy teenage girl. I apologize profusely and remind her she needs to be mindful of where she is, she says ok mom, I forgot, I like to dance and I think these people like my Irish skipping. OY!!! I tell her one of the people was a table full of tomatoes but she doesn't hear me because she is now begging for candy apples covered in nuts, (which by the way she doesn't even like) and of course Irish skipping taking out a full row of caramel dip.
On to the deli...
We have to order our sandwich meat at the deli counter. The extremely kind and very patient lady behind the counter asks if we would like to sample any. I ask for ham and turkey a piece for each child. Well, OMG decides she wants cheese. They didn't give me cheese. OMG, OMG is just not having that, she looked at the very wonderful deli lady and screamed in her face "I SAY CHEESE NOT HAM." I again apologize and thank her for the ham and now cheese and walk away as fast as possible. This is seriously starting to give me a migraine.
The soup aisle...
I am in the soup aisle and I am just trying to find my husband some God forsaken soup that he asked me to get. I can't find it and I am steering a huge cart filled with groceries. I have three insane children. OMG is screaming for the "choo choo" that runs through the store over head, MH is dancing around the cart and MM is asking me if we have enough ketchup to feed the entire state of Kansas. I turn around a this woman is literally following me down the aisle, just following me! I turn around there she is, I pull my cart forward, there she is again. I have had it at this point. I ask her "do you need me to move?" What does this sweet looking elderly woman tell me: "No, I'm enjoying the show". I about died right there!!!
The canned food aisle and the BEST part...
So we have made it almost through the entire store when...OMG finds a can of Dora Spaghetti O's she must have. Not only must she have them, she must hold them, in her hand in the cart...an aluminum can in the hands of volatile 2 year old, complete disaster in the making. So, I let her hold the can, oh you know I did, it was not worth the screaming! OMG proceeds to throw the full can at random people we pass in the aisles. There appears to be no rhyme or reason to who gets the can tossed at them, just complete randomness. I am laughing like a damn hyena on the inside while completely discipling on the outside.
I must get out of this store!! I check out. And you will never believe that because their behavior was so good we headed right to the toy store after this. Imagine what happens when they are naughty...
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